Without the external drama, validation, and performative displays, life can feel dull, quiet, and peaceful.
That’s exactly the point. But “dull” is only the ego’s complaint. Peace can feel “boring” because the usual stimulation of self-importance is gone. Isn’t that when the inner life suddenly has room to breathe?
Reminds me of this quote I saw recently: "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."
Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, Novel by Richard Bach
I’m kind of coming at things from a similar hypothesis. I think we are trapped in the inertia of a societal organism which is itself very much alive and evolving. And right now that organism is addicted to a whole collection of self-harming behaviors.
I somehow managed to shake myself out of it, largely by accident after a lifetime of feeling like a window shopper looking into a society to which I have never fully belonged as a queer smart person, even while looking more and more like a middle-aged white guy with each passing year.
What would we do if the problems we actually have were solved? That, to me, is the juiciest question there is. I’m hopeful one day we will have the momentum of courage needed to break out of the illusion. I’m going to keep finding new ways of pointing it out until it happens or I die. Fingers so very crossed for the former.
Thanks for sharing! I appreciated your three cents.
P.S. Your version of “shaking yourself out of it” made me nod. So many of us live like permanent window-shoppers–close enough to see the display, never quite convinced we belong inside. The fact that you clawed your way out, even accidentally, is no small thing. 😊
Thank you for this. I really appreciate that you find something useful in the more raw pieces.
And that Friends reference is actually spot-on. I think about that idea quite often: even our “goodness” can sneakily be about being seen, affirmed, or admired. It’s uncomfortable to admit, but strangely freeing once we do. 😉
Ryan, thank you for taking the time to sit with the piece. It means a lot that it stirred something in you, maybe that’s the whole point of why I write in the first place.
I agree with you: our self-harming tendencies didn’t start yesterday. They feel baked into consciousness itself, like an ancient survival glitch that never got patched. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a brutal sorting mechanism, or maybe a reminder that we’re always one step away from destroying what we love unless we wake up. 🤔
Thank you again for reading, and for getting the “three cents” joke. That alone made my morning. 😉
There is so much I could say about this, but I'll narrow it down to two things. First, thanks for continuously dropping these raw and honest posts. I get a lot out of them. Second, this reminds me of a moment from the TV series Friends where Phoebe tells Joey that there is no such thing as a selfless act. That has stuck with me over the years and I find just being aware of it encourages me to try and do more things quietly. To the point where getting noticed starts to feel like failure. Being noticed is a strange and pervasive habit to try to break.
Without the external drama, validation, and performative displays, life can feel dull, quiet, and peaceful.
That’s exactly the point. But “dull” is only the ego’s complaint. Peace can feel “boring” because the usual stimulation of self-importance is gone. Isn’t that when the inner life suddenly has room to breathe?
Reminds me of this quote I saw recently: "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."
Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, Novel by Richard Bach
I’m kind of coming at things from a similar hypothesis. I think we are trapped in the inertia of a societal organism which is itself very much alive and evolving. And right now that organism is addicted to a whole collection of self-harming behaviors.
I somehow managed to shake myself out of it, largely by accident after a lifetime of feeling like a window shopper looking into a society to which I have never fully belonged as a queer smart person, even while looking more and more like a middle-aged white guy with each passing year.
What would we do if the problems we actually have were solved? That, to me, is the juiciest question there is. I’m hopeful one day we will have the momentum of courage needed to break out of the illusion. I’m going to keep finding new ways of pointing it out until it happens or I die. Fingers so very crossed for the former.
Thanks for sharing! I appreciated your three cents.
P.S. Your version of “shaking yourself out of it” made me nod. So many of us live like permanent window-shoppers–close enough to see the display, never quite convinced we belong inside. The fact that you clawed your way out, even accidentally, is no small thing. 😊
Yep this it true, good piece. Bring yourself back into alignment with yourself.
Thanks, Doc 😊
Thank you for this. I really appreciate that you find something useful in the more raw pieces.
And that Friends reference is actually spot-on. I think about that idea quite often: even our “goodness” can sneakily be about being seen, affirmed, or admired. It’s uncomfortable to admit, but strangely freeing once we do. 😉
Ryan, thank you for taking the time to sit with the piece. It means a lot that it stirred something in you, maybe that’s the whole point of why I write in the first place.
I agree with you: our self-harming tendencies didn’t start yesterday. They feel baked into consciousness itself, like an ancient survival glitch that never got patched. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a brutal sorting mechanism, or maybe a reminder that we’re always one step away from destroying what we love unless we wake up. 🤔
Thank you again for reading, and for getting the “three cents” joke. That alone made my morning. 😉
There is so much I could say about this, but I'll narrow it down to two things. First, thanks for continuously dropping these raw and honest posts. I get a lot out of them. Second, this reminds me of a moment from the TV series Friends where Phoebe tells Joey that there is no such thing as a selfless act. That has stuck with me over the years and I find just being aware of it encourages me to try and do more things quietly. To the point where getting noticed starts to feel like failure. Being noticed is a strange and pervasive habit to try to break.